What a Turkey.

Washington, DC

Well, another wonderful Thanksgiving Day here in the nation's capital. Thank you, Auntie Pat. I did sneak over to the White House to try to deny the turkey the President's annual pardon. What a waste of good turkey. Unfortunately, they caught me and here are my celebrity mug shots. Take that, Lindsey Lohan!

Mention Menton, Often

I've been to some of the best restaurants in the world, and Boston's Menton is one of them. I guess word had spread to the kitchen that I was in the house on Friday night. That's when Chef Barbara Lynch and the Menton team surprised me with this personalized dessert. It even beats that cool night in Radda-in-Chianti, Tuscany when the waitress made a bed for me out of a bread basket and napkins. This is as it should be because, well, I matter. So mention Menton to your friends, often.

Santa Barbara, CA

I decided to join Jessica today to visit with friends in Santa Barbara. It was a pleasant trip until - and this is not easy for me to write - we visited the San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito. It's one of the many Ty Warner real estate holdings. Yes, that Ty Warner - the inventor of beanie babies. Truly, he is a God-like figure to those of us with beans as innards. And, as if at the gates of heaven, that's when I saw Waldo (in photo), the world's largest beanie baby. And he's a simian, no less. My monkey life is now complete. Nah!

Stop Picking On Me

St. Petersburg, Russia

How do you say, bad idea? We turned the corner on Nevsky Prospekt and there they were - Uncle Boris and his family. No sooner did they jump all over Auntie Pat and me than that little vixen Natasha started grooming me. Hey, I'm already the best looking monkey in western Russia.

Who's The Idiot?

St. Petersburg, Russia

Here's Auntie Pat, Karen, Cynthia and Jessica at The Idiot, Dostoyevsky's old hangout. I want to state right here and now that good old Fyodor did not have me in mind when he wrote that book. Yet, it looks like Auntie Cynthia does have me in mind. I guess they call if Mother Russia for a reason.

Hot City, Cold Beer

St. Petersburg, Russia

We had a private tour of The Hermitage today. Sadly, I didn't find Rembrandt's famous painting of me, Portrait of a Young Mono. One of the guides told me it was being repaired. Now that was a decent docent. Anyway, seems that the piece was vandalized after the St. Petersburg opening of Planet of the Apes.

Auntie Pat, Jessica and I then had lunch at the delightful sidewalk cafe at The Grand Hotel Europe. The Baltica 7 beer was just what I needed.

I Got Your 4th Right Here

Ok, don't ask. Happy Fourth of July!!!!

Adieu, Mon Tahiti

Detroit

Sorry, everyone. I know that I've been out of touch and that there's much catching up to do. Well, you see, I decided to move to French Polynesia after my trip there with Walt and Jessica in January.

What can I say? I met somebody in Pape'ete, Tahiti at one of those glorious French sidewalk cafes and, whammo, she just took my breath away. That's not all she took. I woke up several days later in the Hotel Tahiti Nuie and I was missing one monkey kidney. Gotcha! Only kidding. Heeh, heeh, heeh!

I did come back to the States several times during my stay in Paradise, but made no blog entries there because I couldn't handle those French keyboards. So, I'm moving back home and, in trying to avoid the paparazzi and sneak quietly into the States this afternoon, there was Uncle Elmo hanging out next to the Vino Volo at the Detroit Airport. Now, thanks to that loudmouth, everyone knows I'm back. I'll be updating you on all my adventures soon.

That's Uncle Elmo. Nothing but trouble.